UnNews:Stavros Niarchos Checks Out Of Paris Hilton Hotel
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Stavros Niarchos Checks Out Of Paris Hilton Hotel
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, January 20, 2017, 14:12:UTC)(
2 May 2006
(Paris, France) Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos checked out of the Paris Hilton hotel today, after nearly a six month stay. His luxurious suite is popular with greek shipping heirs, having previously been occupied by Paris Latsis. There are now three vacancies in the hotel - one near the top floors, one in the front midsection, and one in the rear midsection.
Niarchos says he enjoyed his stay, saying it was "nice and cozy," although he complained the previous occupant had "left a bit of a mess." Room service promised to do a thorough cleaning for the next guest, but admitted that certain dirty spots were unfortunately permanent. Hotel workers also promised to expand the suite, as they traditionally do after every visitor. "We want to make it more spacious, for a more loose, relaxed atmosphere," said spokesman Elliot Mintz.
The spokesman added that the hotel doesn't have any reservations for its open rooms just yet. "We simply don't know who will show up - but there is plenty of room. Maybe it will be another greek shipping heir, or maybe not." The hotel's expensive prices limit guests to only the most wealthy individuals.
The hotel chain recently suffered a setback after splitting off from sister company Richie Hotels. The original goal of the merger was to "create a more accessible chain of hotels, to make life simpler for everyone." The reasons for the failure and the split remain corporate secrets.
The Paris Hilton is conveniently located near a wax museum. For reservations, call 1-900-555-8432 (for $1.99 a minute).