UnNews:Stars must "check science facts"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 16:08, January 8, 2007 by Linton (talk | contribs)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Where man always bites dog

6 January 2007

ShrinkRay
Thomas Dolby: "I would never endorse any advanced scientific laser beam shrinking ray I did not fully understand the operating principles of myself. Don't be blinded with science!"

LONDON, Wednesday (UNN Science) -- Celebrities have been asked to check their facts before lending support to scientific research and campaigns, rather than risk misleading people, says the charity Sense About Science.

Over 1400 scientists are backing the campaign, as well as many celebrities. "As a scholarship chemical engineer," said Cindy Crawford, "I could never endorse a hair product if I couldn't at least in theory design the manufacturing plant myself." And famed dropper of science MC Hawking said, "WE ARE MORE THAN AWARE THAT THEM MEDIA BITCHEZ PREFER A SHOCKING STORY OVER SOLID FACT, YO. BUT THEY'S NOT ONLY FOOLIN' THEMSELVES, THEY'S FOOLIN' US TOO. THEY GONNA GET A BRIEF HISTORY OF MY FOOT IN THEIR ASS. REAL BRIEF. WORD."

Richard Dawkins noted some difficulties facing the campaign. "My quite reasonable television advertisements concerning the matter of religions and society have had an unfortunately reactionary response in the United States. Some deluded and undoubtedly schizophrenic fundamentalists have gone so far as to object to the idea that all churches and religious organisations should be napalmed and their members stuck on spits and roasted at the town gates, and apparently I have been convicted in absentia of war crimes. Which only goes to show just how far these zealots will take things. I suppose sending them a British ten-pound note with Charles Darwin on it could be taken as having been unnecessarily provocative, but I did apologise most sincerely for having spoken above their level of stupidity."

Plans are also in progress to send David Blaine to the moon, just to cheer everyone up.

Other areas of technology already benefit from celebrity sponsorship. Microsoft, after a European Union request to work better with its competitors, has recently signed up Peter Sutcliffe, Ian Brady, Rosemary West and Charles Manson to promote Linux.

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects