UnNews:Spice Girls 'deny singing' In Vancouver comeback gig

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3 December 2007

02122007b

Scary Ginger, pictured during her "pirate ghost" phase

BRITISH 'GIRL' BAND the Spice Girls have denied singing live or having a live band in the first concert of their worldwide reunion tour. The five performed to a sell-out crowd in Vancouver, Canada, on Sunday night. Questions were raised after microphone feedback was heard whilst they were singing "I want a Cigar ... a cigar - cigar - cigar", part of their debut single "Wannaweewee" which reached No. 1 in 1967.

Spokesman Kyle Brownuss denied suggestions they were singing live; "Christ, have you heard what they sound like without hundreds of layers of digital audio filtering!? It's enough to make your ears bleed. Even with the filtering effects they sound like a bunch of dying cats, so I suppose one could mistake it for a live performance."

"I mean, try as you might, you cannot polish a turd."

Accusations of "singing live" are not new in the world of pop. Sir Elton John publicly accused Madonna of cheating fans in 2004 by singing live at one of her concerts, although he later withdrew the charge after it subsequently emerged that Madonna had had her vocal chords removed in 1991.

Scary Mel, lead singer of the group, laughed off the accusations; "do you know how many cigars I smoked backstage before this gig? I can barely speak, let alone sing!"

Baby Posh, also lead singer and wife of football legend Jimmy Hill was also quick to deny the suggestions of actual singing, "look, we can't sing, we can't dance and we hate each other. It's all about the money, that's all it's ever been about, now FUCK OFF."

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