UnNews:Spain Jealous; Creates Tour le Spain
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Spain Jealous; Creates Tour le Spain
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, May 25, 2015, 16:29 (UTC)
10 July 2008
MADRID, Spain - The Tour de France is one of the most difficult bike rides ever. It takes place in France anually, and bike riders from around the world participate in this race. Every year during July the race tkes place. Since this race occurs exclusively in France, other countries get jealous. The first to trespond, however, was Spain.
Through an act of jealousy, Spain created a large, country-wide race found exclusively in Spain, called the Tur de España. Spain invits all of the riders who did not make it to the Tour de France, whether it was from personal or physical problems or because they just weren't good enough. This response to France's famous race has caused a major uproar in the country. france is very mad at Spain, and now Spain is made at France. With tempers flaring, Representatives from foreign countries asked Spain to cancel their race, but Spain refused.
(Translated to English)
|We will not let france steal all of the glorry in Europe when it comes to Bicycle Racing. We created our own race not in jealousy, but in inspiration from the country of France, rather. We shall keep the ace, not remove it. France should consider themselves Honored to have a country follow their path.|
—José L. Rodríguez Zapatero, the president of Spain
Now Spain is keeping their race, and despite their president saying it was through inspiration, everyone knows it was through jealousy alone. The race happens every year in the middle of August, allowing all riders who would like to enter. The race itself is slightly shorter than the Tour de Franc, but it makes up in difficulty. Over Half of the race is up hill style, making the race much more difficult than the France, because it includes flat, downhill, and uphill at relatively even amounts. So the riders in the Tour de France would be ore suited for the Tour le Spain, while the Riders in the Tour le Spain would be more qualified for the Tour de France due to race difficulty.
Now Spain and France are Archenemies, France declared in reponse to Spain's response to the Tour de France. Spain does not wish to be enemies, but France feels insulted rather than honored by Spain making their own intranational race.
France also threatended to start warfare. Spain, alarmed and surprised, till kept their race but continued trying to negotiate with France. France would do anything but. They threatened to attack Spain if it did not cancel the race within two weeks. At this point, Spain is starting to organize their military to defend their country. Spain obviously really wants this race, and France doesn't. And now they are resorting to military warfare to settle things.
Spain says they will do anything to keep the race, and will stop at nothing to hold that statement. France said the same for cancelling the race. Th US sent troops to spain to help defend, but spain refused the gift and said they will defend it themselves. For war not to start, some one will have to chicken out.