UnNews:SpaceX gets bill for overcooked satellite

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SpaceX gets bill for overcooked satellite

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5 September 2016

SpaceX explosion

The sign on the pump told the attendant to shut off his cellphone too. But would he? Noooo.

CAPE CARNAGE, Florida -- The owner of the payload burnt to a crisp when a SpaceX rocket exploded last week has demanded compensation.

The accident occurred as the company was fueling its rocket as part of a routine test firing. The attendant ignored company policy to put out his cigarette while operating the nozzle. Although the result (pictured) was as impressive as a rocket launch, it was not a rocket launch, and the payload, the Ersatz space probe, was a total loss.

Israel's Space Communication, Ltd., owner of the Ersatz, said the device was to be used by a number of key clients, who would lease broadband access using the satellite. The plan was that getting high enough up in the air could attain the coveted "five bars" of signal strength, enabling a listener to tell what the guy at the other end of the line was saying in a single try. Spacecom said it is now pursuing other options — as it hardly makes sense to pursue the same option, especially as the Ersatz is still smoldering and giving off sparks.

SpaceX is the brainchild of visionary businessman Elon Musk, who also owns Tesla Motors and will surely use lessons learned here whenever a Model S with Autopilot explodes.

Spacecom has demanded $50 million in compensation, but said it would settle for another flight at no cost. Musk has weighed his options and has elected to provide Spacecom with a free flight — to Detroit, which is awfully nice this time of year.

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