UnNews:South Korea May Be Trying To Compensate For Something
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South Korea May Be Trying To Compensate For Something
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, July 28, 2015, 13:34:UTC)(
22 October 2009
SEOUL, South Korea -- The multinational corporation Samsung Group announced today that they have built the tallest building in the world for the third time. The building, Burj Dubai, built in the oil rich nation of The United Arab Emirates in it's largest city, Dubai, topped out at 818 m (2,684 ft) on September 21, 2009. The Burj Dubai now holds the record for tallest building in the world. This comes as no surprise to the builder and funder, Samsung, for they have held the world record tallest building for the last two projects that they worked on.
However amazing these feats may be, researcher John Patterson believes the South Korean company is really just compensating for something: their really small penises. "Its been clinically proven that Koreans have much smaller penises than everyone else in the world. These Koreans are just trying to make up for this by building really tall buildings resembling penises. Its elementary psychology."
The Burj Dubai was built in the shadow of the buildings Taipei 101 and Petronas Towers. The Petronas Towers, completed in 1998 are obviously two penises. The Taipei 101 completed in 2004 is also a penis, however deformed it may be. The company is trying to hide something here and trying to cover something up. Why would a multinational corporation want to build the tallest buildings in the world again and again? Its certainly not a superiority complex or a God complex for that matter. Its a penis complex.
However, in response to these allegations, the company's acting president Lee Soo Bin said "We utterly and completely deny the allegations that Korean people are compensating for their small penises."
When asked why all of the buildings funded by the company that somewhat resembled penises looked slightly deformed, the company's spokesman Kim Song Song said, "What? I thought all penises had parts coming out of other parts with different elevators running to the top!?" The spokesman blushed and took a bite of his Kimchi and continued to say and blame the Korean sexual education system: "this is what we learn in school."
The Koreans only have only proven the point that they have much to hide and the motives behind their funding of construction are confused at best. They seem to have some insecurities that need to be fixed and also seem to be trying to compensate for their very small penises.