UnNews:Source of European disease outbreak discovered

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Source of European disease outbreak discovered

Straight talk, from straight faces

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Monday, March 19, 2018, 01:48:59 (UTC)

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10 December 2006

Get psychotropical

Artist's rendition of the effect of drinking the water. And by "artist's rendition", I mean "collaboration of drunks with Down syndrome".

Years and years ago..actually, decades ago. We'd all be dead already if we lived back then. Long dead.

It was somewhere in Europe, and probably Britain too. Massive cholera outbreaks all throughout Europe killed countless people. Historians believe the disease was caused by people drinking contaminated water from nearby rivers. How in Hell's name the bacteria got in the water, though, remained unknown for years.

edit Until now.


The invention that solved the problem once and for all.

It was finally discovered by some dumbass archaeologists that the citizens had actually been shitting in the rivers they took their water from. Not to mention non-cholera sickness, the kind that makes you vomit, and..yeah.

After many had been killed by cholera, the toilet was invented, and the problem was finally solved. Of course, there were problems with the invention when it was first revealed: people felt it was "too complicated" to pull down their pants, sit on a modified chair and let the dogs out. Once they learned Thomas Crapper didn't invent it, they were completely willing to use it. Since the invention of the toilet, the effect of drinking the contaminated water was never achieved again. Until This Guy created a new national pastime.


Why is he here? Hell if I know.

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.

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