UnNews:Sock puppet sues Uncyclopedia cites failure
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|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
4 March 2010
Orlando, Florida. UnNews was Unnerved to get the following report. Apparently some person who was the Sock Puppet of an Uncyclopedia User named “Mellow-yellow”, is the plaintiff, who is actually suing Uncyclopedia for their own failure to get any votes for their self-nommed articles.
He/Her/She/It claims that, in spite of enduring the inhuman “Uncyclopedian Success Initiation” (code named a misleading “USI” ceremony), they were still a failure on VFH.
Mellow-yellow, the real plaintiff, deemed this as cruel and unusual punishment, and they have filed suit in Orlando High Court, demanding that the VFH judges of Uncyclopedia be forced, by law, to vote for their self-nommed Feature Article, famously revered as an “FA”. And, that the defendants be compelled by law to laugh at their nommed article. Basically, “laugh at the article, vote for the article OR go to prison.”
According to the plaintiff, they were subjected to humiliation and great mental anguish, while forced through the Uncyclopedia initiation. They described the initiation process as taking place in the following stages,
"Uncyclopedian Success Initiation Procedure" - which consists, basically, of 1) getting kicked repeatedly in the balls (on-line), 2) getting humiliated constantly until you finally realize your own self-worthlessness, 3) becoming adopted by a "one-eyed" Sysop who's an “Ego-buster-from-hell”, and 4) eating an entire "humble pie" in one gulp.
Out side the Court, Uncyclopedia’s Spike was over-heard saying, “If people can't take the initiation then they just do NOT belong, being unworthy swine, unfit for Uncyclopedia and genuine friendship with UnBrothers & UnSisters. So, when it comes to joining Uncyclopedia, one MUST make it through the 'belt line'"
Regardless of the court ruling, the VFH Supreme Judges, such as the ever-amazing Guildy, have declared they will only vote for an article IF they like it, and no court on Earth is going to change that!
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|