UnNews:Sochi announced as 2014 Winter Olymics host, many confused
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Sochi announced as 2014 Winter Olymics host, many confused
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, May 6, 2016, 03:59:UTC)(
5 July 2007
Guatemala City, Guatemala: The International Olympic Committee elected Sochi, Russia as the host city for the 2014 Winter Olympics during its session in Guatemala City yesterday, prompting many to say "Wha?" Sochi was elected in the second round of voting with 51 votes against 47 votes for PyeongChang, dashing the hopes of CamelCase enthusiasts. Uncyclopedia's top reporters went to the streets to find out what the general populace thought of the event.
Leroy McConnohie of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: "Can't you see that i'm trying to get my brother's Independence Day party? Nobody cares about the Winter Olympics, anyway! Don't you remember what happened with the last one? Of course not! Nobody cared about it!"
Robert Q. Stern of San Francisco, California: "I've never heard of Sochi before. Are you sure that it even exists? <We respond affirmatively, citing Wikipedia.> You know as well as I do that Wikipedia is an unreliable source!"
Albert Amberson of Dallas, Texas: "I thought it was going to be in Guatemala City! What other reason could the IOC possibly have for being there?" <Mr. Albertson went on like this for quite some time in a long stream of consciousness.>
Jacques Rogge of Guatemala City, Guatemala: "How did you know about this before I announced it?! Get out of my office!"