UnNews:Sinbad the sailor deported from Israel
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Sinbad the sailor deported from Israel
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, March 18, 2018, 23:37:UTC)(
6 June 2010
JERUSALEM, Israel -- Israel has defended its action after Sinbad the Sailor was officially deported from Israel today.
Describing Sinbad as a 'terrorist supporting friend of Hamas, Hezbollah, Al-Qaida, Iran and the very dangerous A.N.Other Organisation We-Can-Think-Of ', Israel's elite force of Roc Commandos stormed Sinbad's ship as it was about to set sail from Cyprus for the Gaza Cartoon Strip.
Sinbad was on the wooden deck of his ship at the time with friends Popeye (from the American Friends of Free Cartoons), the Danish semi-aquatic pacifist Little Mermaid and Captain Hook when the commandos landed from large flying birds overhead. In a fierce battle, Sinbad and everyone else on the ships were arrested and the others were taken to Israel. Those who resisted the commandos were rubbed out and replaced with pretty flowers instead. Other ships in the flotilla including The Dawn Treader, The Flying Dutchman and the United Nations flagged Ship of Fools were also towed into an Israeli harbour to 'check for any funny or poetical stories that would assist Israel's enemies' according to an official statement issued by the government there.
Israel has to defend itself against anyone and that includes literary figures like Sinbad or Popeye, claimed Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. If we had allowed Sinbad to land on the Comic Strip of Gaza, this would have led to Hamas firing more rocket propelled donkeys into Israel.
Sinbad has since been deported but others with him like Captain Hook will be detained further as he was carrying an 'offensive artificial arm' with the suspicion his real name was the radical Islamic extremist Abu Hamza in a very convincing theatrical disguise. According to the latest news reports, Sinbad was going to give his side of the story to the respected CNN (Cartoon Network News) but the interview was cancelled at the last minute after pressure from the show's worried advertisers afraid to upset the Pro-Israel lobby in America.
In the latest attempt to bust Israel's blockade of Gaza, The Owl and The Pussycat were arrested for trying to smuggle honey, money and a British five pound note in their pea-green coloured boat.
Their boat had been left initially behind the main Flotilla as The Owl had been too busy singing his love for 'Pussy' to keep up with the others. The newly married couple had also been delayed by feeling sick after accidently eating a lot of the provisions destined for Gaza including too much mince and quince.
As their boat came within 100 miles of Israel, it was harpooned by Israeli coastal craft. The Owl's guitar was confiscated as an offensive musical instrument and a bucket of sea water thrown over the Pussycat . Their boat was then taken in tow. Israel's press have since suggested it was actually painted 'Hamas Islamic Green'.
- Staff "Sinbad the Sailor's Invasion of Israel Stopped in Time". Sunday Telegraph, June 6, 2010