UnNews:Simon Cowell Takes On The Mouse
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Simon Cowell Takes On The Mouse
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, August 29, 2015, 23:31:UTC)(
25 June 2009
Cowell who is the sad genius of programmes like X Factor , Y-Fronts Factor and Who Wants To Have Simon's Bank Account Details ? has teamed up with the Monaco based British businessman Sir Philip 'Deep Trouser Pockets' Green in a daring plan to take on Mickey Mouse and the Disney Corporation. They have already sketched a master plan to 'kill the Mouse' by building a Reality TV Theme Park in Florida.
We are going to scrub out the Mouse, boasted Cowell and Green at a press conference in London. Not only did we invent reality TV..we are reality TV. Everything outside our world is a deluded fantasy. Only we can make your wishes come true.
|The beauty of our TV Reality Theme Park is that every year it will be different. For example if we had started it this year, everyone who came would be able to become Susan Boyle for the day or like that fat guy who won American Idol..So instead of (yawns) going on the Mickey Mouse ride or the Donald Duck Genetic Farm Experiment..and filling children's heads full of vermin and birds that taste better with an orange up their arse...Our park will make you want to come back and again and again.|
Disney have so far declined to comment on the announcement but are said to be 'relaxed, mellow, spaced out, on a passive high ' and that they had seen off all previous competitors .