UnNews:Silliest fatwa since call for Salman Rushdie's death?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Silliest fatwa since call for Salman Rushdie's death?

We distort, you deride

UnNews Logo Potato
Tuesday, March 20, 2018, 16:18:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

24 April 2006


This dude is one smug psychopath, secure in the knowledge that his parents have never been naked. Ever.

CAIRO - An Egyptian cleric's controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.

According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University's faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), "being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage."

As a result, an estimated 94% of the world's approximately 1.5 billion Muslims have been declared to be illegitimate, and therefore no better than any other type of infidel. Osama bin Laden was said to have been relieved, knowing that most collateral casualties were probably sub-human as defined by the fatwa.

A wave of unease has covered much of the remaining, non-crazy Islamic populations of the world due to the resulting illegitimacy of the majority of Muslims. Sane religious leaders of the world prepare for a backlash of fatwas against most Muslims as well as the rest of the world, whom these particular psychotics consider as infidels all.

Suad Saleh, a sane woman who heads the women's department of Al-Azhar's Islamic studies faculty, pleaded for "anything that can bring spouses closer to each other" and rejected the claim that nudity during intercourse could invalidate a union.

The religious decree sparked a hot debate on the private satellite network Dream's popular religious talk show and on the front page of January 08, 2006 Al-Masri Al-Yom, Egypt's leading independent daily newspaper.

During the live televised debate, Islamic scholar Abdel Muti dismissed the fatwa: "Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy; and by sodomy, I mean anything remotely enjoyable."

For his part, Al-Azhar's fatwa committee chairman, Abdullah Megawar, argued that married couples could see each other naked but should not look at each other's genitalia and suggested they cover up with a blanket during sex. When asked by a reporter whether gay couples could see one another nude, Megawar responded with staccato bursts from his AK-47.

edit Sources

Personal tools