UnNews:Shit That Pisses Me Off:Every time I log on I fail to do what I came here for

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This editorial is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-moron misinformation. You can bloody well piss off if you don't like it!


30 October 2010


Columnist: Editorial default Happytimes
Janitor, Bastard, Heinous Wench, Columnist & Co.

I'm dancing on your grave funny boy. Go write something important so you can get an "I'm so fucking important" template or some shit.

Hello / Hi / Sojourn / Aloha / Guten tag / and shit. -- So, like, right now I totally was gonna archive my talk page 'cause every friggen time someone (read: jerkface like you) logs on it it takes forever and then they're all, like, 'this takes too long to load' and whine about it.

Well up yours! You mom takes too long to load unless I put a bag over her head & you don't hear me complaining about it do you? Fuck!

Actually I F'n KNOW that it takes too long because it takes me forever to get to the damn end when I read that first comment when my stupid ass computer is still booting up.
Yes I know you're thinking 'Happytimes goes right to Uncyclopedia when they log on?' but don't flatter yourself, I'm sick I tell you. (Plus it's my default homepage; VERY SICK I TELL YOU.)

So I log in and check my special:watchlist and waste time looking at all you fucker's talk pages just to be sure I'm not missing anything topical, in-jokey or relevant.

  • Then I revert some vandalism & then, wait for it, (the bigggest time suck of all) I read the forums.


Then I find this type of thing, an' look into it, and then do stuff (even if it's controversial and not really part of UnNews... but I'm an UnNews contributor so at least that part's right. Right? Right.) and then more stuff, AND THEN MOAR stuff....

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This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.

I never get to do what I want. *whaaaaaah!*

So... well, screw this and all that then, I'm going to archive my talk blog before you all go apeshit or something.

- - - - *knocks over microphone and shuffles off stage*

Happytimes has left the -G- -D- building yo!

edit Sources

  • For fucks sake it was ME! "[ (Every time I log on I fail to do what I came here for.) ]". Now! In the past..., October 30, 2010

It could be worse....
If you think this was a waste of space, it helps to remember that the internet is effectively infinite and there are much stupider things on it.

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