UnNews:Sex pervert Maurice Sendak dies
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Sex pervert Maurice Sendak dies
Where man always bites dog
Tuesday, May 24, 2016, 13:56:UTC)(
9 May 2012
DANBURY, CT – Children's books author Maurice Sendak died Tuesday in his home in Danbury, CT, a victim of the Wild Things he created for children's edification and amusement.
The author was 83 years old. His “official” obituary attributes his death to complications following a stroke, but his kindergarten fans know differently. “It's the Wild Things that killed him,” Jennifer Martin, age 3, is certain.
The writer is controversial among educators, parents, and religious groups, who see his “monsters” as “unruly representations of the id,” psychologist Sarah Manning says. “His characters—the human children, not the monsters—frequently misbehave. They pick their noses, belch, pass gas, and sometimes curse euphemistically. Parents—moms, in particular—don't like that. Some believe that his characters are poor role models.”
In addition, the illustrations for his books are typically full of violence and suggestive of sex. Where the Wild Things Are features drawings of a boy raping, pillaging, and burning his hometown before being sent to bed without his supper. “The parent's disciplinary technique, like their son's behavior,” Manning says, “leaves a lot to be desired. If parents sent their children to bed without supper, CPS [Child Protective Services] would no doubt become involved.”
In another of Sendak's books, the four-year-old protagonist, a bully named Bruce the Bruiser, has sex with gingerbread men, “and the author doesn't leave much to the reader's imagination,” Manning warns. In addition, the book includes a scene in which Bruce skinny dips in a bowl of milk, “an obvious allusion to semen,” Manning declares.
Many of the author's titles are sexually suggestive, the psychologist adds: A Hole Is to Dig (“an obvious allusion,” Manning says, to “the vagina”; Little Bear (“bestiality disguised as animal play,” according to Manning); and Nutcracker (“about an emasculating mother figure,” Manning claims).
Some suspect that the author was a closeted pedophile, Sheriff Vic Stanley told reporters in a graveside chat about the author's remains. “He kept toys on hand all over his house, including a collection of Mickey Mouse action figures that perform actions no parent would want their children to observe.” Stanley suggested that Sendak also tried to entice his preschool readers to engage in sadomasochistic behavior. “The pervert himself told me—and filmmaker Spike Lee—that childhood is not all sweetness and light, but that it is cruel and full of anger as well, which he encouraged in his fiction.” Even more “disturbing,” Stanley said, was Sendak's characterization of his readers. “Children are star chasers,” the author said. “They like to suck up. I like that.”
Despite his critics, Sendak also had admirers. He was awarded the prestigious Caldecott Medal for best S&M children's book in 1964, and President Bill Clinton presented the author with a National Medal of the Arts in 2009.
“The very fact that Bill Clinton presented Sendak with a medal should give pause to any parent who is considering purchasing his or her child one of the author's sleazy books,” Manning suggests.