UnNews:Senator Obama linked to dealing with local Grue
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Senator Obama linked to dealing with local Grue
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Thursday, July 2, 2015, 16:49:UTC)(
21 March 2008
Hell for Bad Reporters, Upwind Grue, known in these here parts for dwelling in the dark and mercilessly eating passers-by, was photographed with Senator Obama today by a tourist with a flash camera, temporarily blinding both the Senator and the Grue. A distant bat, denoted by the ASCII character 'B' was also seen flying erratically, likely confused.
"I had to photograph this- " the 3rd level tourist, also familiar with Zork gaming universe commented proudly "a live Grue- somehow copied from my C64, clearly one character to the east from Senator Obama." Also available at press time were detailed photographs of an apparently life-saving can opener.
"This is, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the death knoll for the Senator." political commentator and avid game player Geekasaurus Rex bibbled in a high-pitched, likely helium-induced voice "Now that he faces certain death in the dark with this local Grue, we can all call him a plain old Senator again instead of other fancy words like 'Presidential Candidate'. This technique of distancing ourselves from 'that... guy' will cushion the news of his untimely death, clearly the result of his unhealthy association with ravenous beasts of doom." He then kind of started to implode, but it had been done so many times before, by generation after generation, that he decided to not implode at the last minute, so his neck just got lodged halfway into his torso. Then after that, realizing the foolish predicament he was in, he decided to implode after all.