UnNews:Semenya is grandson of Nazi
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||UnFair and UnBalanced|
10 September 2009
Berlin, Germany - In the newest twist on the debate as to Caster Semenya's gender, it was discovered by Ruth Finkelstein of the Deutschlund Bnai Brith of Berlin (NAMBLA)) that "she" is actually the grandson of Nazi Olympian and transsexual Dora "Nine Inches" Ratjen, later discovered to be Hermann "Nine Inches" Ratjen.
Apparently not content to have had a Jewish woman bumped so that he could compete with the women, this Nazi also engaged in a super secret project, Operation Aryan Glory, so as to make sure that white male dominance of the Olympics would last "one thousand years".
To this end, his henchmen in the SS captured a Zulu woman, and with advanced Nazi medical technology, engineered a child that would only breed penis-less men. This would insure that while African athletes could excell in women's sports, they'd never be able to keep their medals, guaranteeing continued white supremacy.
The plan was successful, and Semenya is just one of several dozen penis-less males that have been entered into the Olympics. Ruth Finkelstein was able to uncover this shocking fact only last April, on the 120th anniversary of Adolf Hitler's birth.
"It was then that a previously unknown vault opened", reported Ruth. "We had thought it was just an ugly example of klunky German sculpture, imagine the surprise of the homeless man sitting on it when it opened!"
Inside were papers detailing the procedures and plans, along with instructions as to how to best use the information to embarass the athletes of other nations. Which is what prompted the still predominantly pro-Nazi International Olympic Committee to start their "exposes".
"In retrospect, when I look at Dora's picture, I feel that people then should have known. I mean, the Hitler mustache Dora wore was just not popular with German girls. They prefered to style their's in a bushier fashion. Heck, we still do!", said Ruth.
When asked if he had anything to say about these recent revelations, Gunter Goering - personal trainer of Caster Semenya - said, "Nein." Semenya 'herself' was unavailable, as 'she' was having a prostate exam.