UnNews:Scandal erupts over magazine cover featuring Obama
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Scandal erupts over magazine cover featuring Obama
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Sunday, August 2, 2015, 04:36:UTC)(
20 August 2008
Brodswald, New Hampringshire - In a move that can only be described as "tacky", the popular women's magazine Ladies' Home Journal has chosen to feature a caricature of presidential candidate Barack Obama and his wife Michelle on the cover of the September issue. Thousands of people in waiting rooms and grocery store check-out lanes across the nation were stunned by the otherwise sensible magazine's apparent lack of taste.
Regular readers were put off by this domestic magazine's foray into the realm of political tomfoolery. "When I picked up this month's issue, all I wanted was some tips on how to get those horrible smudges off of the end table," bemoaned one reader, Thelma Thurgood, 46, who wishes to remain anonymous. "But instead I find this filth! I mean, look at all the things wrong with it! Barack's American flag lapel pin is too low, and Michelle isn't wearing a proper Islamic headdress!" Outrageous though the spectacle may be, Thurgood later noted that she absolutely must find out who does Michelle's hair.
Obama's spokesman issued the following statement in regard to the magazine cover: "We feel that some corrections are in order for this... display that Ladies' Home Journal has shown us. First of all, there are some inaccuracies with the words "Save money at the gas pump" emblazoned on Obama. If Obama is elected, you will not have to lower your gas prices. We will lower them for you. This is the change that you can believe in and hope for that we will bring to you as you hope for it. Change."
Despite the the fact that this magazine cover is an abomination before God and man, some citizens seem curiously unbothered by this image.
"I'll tell you what," one correspondent told us what, "that Obama got what was coming to him. Maybe some day America will have a Muslim elected president, but I hope to never live to see the day that happens. No sirree, you're not gonna have a Muslim government forcing our children to go to school and making us pray five times a day to however many gods they have, least not on my watch." Our correspondent took off for a trip to to 'lanta, where he plans to defend the city from the Russian invasion of Georgia just like his pa defended it from Sherman during the war.
- ↑ More like an OBAMAnation! Hahahaha... Sorry.
- ↑ I hope he doesn't get hit by a BARACKet during the fight! BWAHAHAHA! Okay, okay! I said I'm sorry! Sheesh, cut it out already!