UnNews:Saudi Arabia buys 72 Euroipods
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Saudi Arabia buys 72 Euroipods
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, May 28, 2015, 02:45:UTC)(
19 August 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia -- Saudi Arabia has confirmed it is to receive 72 free Euroipod portable hardrive-based music systems from the EU, in a deal that could be worth more than 6 bajillion U.S. dollars. The contract, brokered between the Saudi government and the Ukrainian Department of Prostitution, Organized Crime and Euroipods (commonly known as "UDPOCE"), could possibly result in a softening on Islamic restrictions on free iPods. Saudi Arabia is buying the Euroipods to replace its range of Cassette Walkmen. The EuroiPod was developed by Apple Computer with European firms Kraftwerk and Heineken.
"The required Euroipod principles have now been agreed which has initiated the giving away of free Euroipods and the associated commitment to the industrial plan to be launched," said UDPOCE representative Dr. Ivana Bityacokof. "I myself received a free iPod from Euroipods, and I believe that it was the best 1,000 rubles and friend's e-mail addresses I ever spent." The ministry added that as the financial details of the deal were confidential, it could not reveal exactly how much it was worth, but rumors internets suggest that one may receive a free iPod in return for:
b) reffering freinds to do the same
Confirmation of the Saudi deal, which was first proposed in December, saw Euroipods's shares close 2.64% higher in Friday trading in Kiev. Yet while the announcement is welcome news for EU business, it will inevitably attract criticism from those who say European companies should not do business with Saudi Arabia because of the Saudi government's poor record on human rights, democracy, and rock music. Pressure group Westboro Baptist Church criticised the deal, claiming that "God hates Euroipods."
"In this deal, the real beneficiary is the oppressive regime in Saudi Arabia, one of the world's worst abusers of free iPods," Apple CEO Steve Jobs stated in a televised interview. "I spend all my life making these things and coercing bands to give us the rights to their music, all so some lame European company can give them away in return for money and e-mail addresses. Plus, Saudi firewalls prevent access to iTunes!"
The Saudi deal is the first confirmed order for Euroipods to come from outside the European Union or North America. Inside Europe, Euroipods have been given away to the UK, Germany, Spain, Italy and Austria. The iPod is in competition with the Nigerian Afroipod.
- Derka Derka Muhammad Jihad "Euroipods to please descendents of the Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)". Al-Manar, August 19, 2006