UnNews:Satire news outlets struggling to find innovative ways to make fun of Donald Trump

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Satire news outlets struggling to find innovative ways to make fun of Donald Trump

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24 October 2012


Arguably, this January 2012 announcement by the band Jethro Tull was bigger than Trump's announcement today. And no one but GlobalTourniquet cared about this.

AUBURN, Washington -- Raising the bar of batshit nuts Wednesday by revealing that his big "election-changing announcement" he had earlier teased was just another bizarre, substanceless birther-wank, Donald Trump single-handedly ruined the days of hundreds of satirists, who are now left struggling to find ways to tell jokes about this fiasco that aren't just rehashed unfunny whines about how batshit nuts Trump is, or how his hairdo fails to live up to his personal wealth.

"He's his own joke. That makes it extremely hard on people like us," said UnNews editor-in-chief GlobalTourniquet. "Fish in a barrel, you know?"

Following on the news that Trump, having announced that he had "something very, very big concerning the president of the United States" to reveal today, actually merely made an offer to give some pocket change to a charity if Obama can prove that his college transcripts and passport line up with the birth certificate that was made public as a result of Trump's earlier whining, the satirist's natural inclination would be to trump up some witty invective that reveals the event for the mockery that it is. The problem is that the best that a good satirist can really come up with in this vein is nowhere near as funny as the event itself.

A quick check of the news item message boards - well known to be populated solely by retards, serial killers and people on the extreme ends of the "r" word debate - reveals that the best jokes being propogated there are centered around a play on the deal that simply twists the theme in some way, such as "Trump promises to give $5 million to a Romney charity if he reveals any portion of his economic plan" or "Obama promises to give a New York SuperCuts $5 to fix Trump's hair." The average witty satirist generally finds these jokes to be too flat or too tiresome for a long-form satirical news piece.

Meanwhile, British satire site The Daily Mash eschewed the financial element of the story, and went for the tried and tested, prurient approach with the article: "Trump offers to sleep with Obama". Some creative application of erotic language, such as "supple body" or "pleasure tool", were worthy of a smile, but the final reference, to Trump's hair, underlined the tired nature of the rhetoric surrounding Trump and the article's lack of satirical bite.

Even the venerable satire news publication The Onion, whose wit surpasses all, is having trouble with the event. The best their Twitter feed came up with wasn't a joke or even funny at all, but merely an exasperated text-sigh at the tycoon's by-now tiresome buffoonery: "'I'm a sad, pathetic human being and a complete waste of life.' — Donald Trump."

One concept that may have traction is being considered by UnNews to deal with this travesty of satire material; a kind of self-referential meta-story about the difficulty that the sad little man's mental incapacity is presenting to us.[1] It remains to be seen if even this brilliant little trope can at least find a larger Donald Trump barrel in which to shoot the fish.

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  1. Especially telling is the fact that, as of this writing, Uncyclopedia's own article on the man is consipcuously absent.

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