UnNews:Sarah Palin's personal emails leaked
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-microsecond misinformation.
19 September 2008
JUNEAU, ALASKA (UNN) - Alaska government officials today confirmed that Governor Sarah Palin's personal email account on hotmail.com was hacked earlier today, and the account contents published on various web sites to the delight of many and the dismay of Palin and her supporters. Officials say that the security breech is attributed to " the notorious super-1337 "hackers on steroids" Anonymous" taking credit for the attack.
Among the contents of the inbox leaked are private emails and family photos, but some of the leaked emails may reveal a more illegitimate side to the way she runs her state.
Palin issued a statement saying that "This is an obvious attempt by the Russian Government to see if embarrassing me would result in swift and immediate action, and as of today I am ordering the Alaska National Guard to invade that country because it choose to invade my personal space."
The hackers revealed that "Palin receives the same amount of crap as the next person, except she actual goes out and buys the products," said UNN's Spa Ng, who writes the Hacker's Helper column for UnNews. Highlights from the hacking reveal that:
- Palin is sucker for "Kute and Kuddly Kitten" pictures, and encourages her freinds and family to "just pass it on..."
- It seems she has been in contact with several high-profile politicians and statesmen from various corrupt African governments, regarding the secret moving of large amounts of money out of their respective countries into Palin's bank accounts; presumably intended for secretly funding more "bridges".
- Palin's husband Todd Palin suffers from a small Penis, and is amazed that various cremes, oinments and pills purchased from online venders do not work.
- Moreover, Palin's husband is unable to satisfy her, forcing the Governor to "masturbate with moose antlers," according to an email that she sent to her her sister.
- There is evidence of potential election rigging: there are emails, which have been sent to hundreds of fellow government officials, which contain telling phrases such as "NOW.......... if u send this ♥*wishes*♥ to 100 people in 100 seconds....... YOU will become **VICE PRESEDENT**!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥"