UnNews:Santa needs more Weed
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Santa needs more Weed
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Saturday, May 28, 2016, 09:53:UTC)(
11 December 2006
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North Pole, EA - During the near-Christmas preparations in the North Pole, Santa Claus and midgets states today that they need more weed. "Ho ho ho, we run out of weed, ho ho ho!!", the 203-year old says to Kofi Annan, the representative of Earth. Regarding the comment, Annan replies back with a deep anger and concern due to Claus' statement, which he describes as "random, childish and mainstream".
The quote has speaded throughout the world, by the internet technology. Possibly 80% of the world population have found out the clip that shows the comment from the Father Christmas. A mother of two in Melbourne says, "I can't believe Santa said that, he was such a nice guy", while her daughters are crying. "I believe every single mother, even father in the world is disgusted by Santa's behaviour", she continues.
While the old man who is identic with his weight problem trying to sort out what he has said, his public relation is currently trying to calm the anger from the public. They are struggling to recover the tape from Santa's house in the North Pole, which has been transported with a metal-plated ship. After 15 hours of investigation and interviews, Jonathan Parker, the leader of the team, gives an official statement, "We believe, and you should believe too, that Santa Claus or Saint Nicholas or Saint Nick or Father Christmas or Kris Kringle or Santy or Jolly Old Elf or Santa Klaus or simply Santa has mispronounced the console Wii, because of his Northern accent. He is just a human, and human make mistakes."
Following the statement, Elisha Parker, the lead investigator's daughter says, "Daddy, I want Weed for Christmas!."