UnNews:Samurai Warriors to be banned in the UK

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12 December 2007

12122007
"anyone for darts?"

SAMURAI WARRIORS are to be banned from next April, the British Government has announced. Their importation, sale and hire will be made illegal following a series of crimes committed by samurai warriors, Home Office minister Vernon Coaker said. Last week alone more than fifteen people were either beheaded, disembowelled or sliced into half by rampant samurai warriors.

Mr Coaker said: "Samurai warriors, noble and honourable as they may be, are dangerous people - there have been a number of high profile, serious incidents involving samurai warriors in England and Wales in recent years. It is therefore crucial that we take this action to tackle the menace of ancient Japanese warrior clans running rampant."

Samurai warrior Hijio Hijarami was defiant in the face of the impending ban, "I look forward to a glorious death in defending my honour and resisting this ridiculously short-sighted ban", he said before ramming his sword into his gut in frustration.

At present, 17 types of ancient warrior including ninjas, medieval knights and shaolin monks are banned under offensive "ancient warrior" laws. Breaching the ban carries a penalty of a fine of up to three pigs and/or a bullock. The news comes just a week after it was announced that cowboys and indians were to be legalised "in certain circumstances"


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