UnNews:Samuel L.Jackson voices support for Daniel Craig
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Samuel L.Jackson voices support for Daniel Craig
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, July 31, 2015, 19:38:UTC)(
17 October 2006
LOS ANGELES, California--Actor Samuel L.Jackson has recently voiced his support for current James Bond actor Daniel Craig.
Jackson, the actor famous for his roles in Pulp Fiction, Shaft, Star Wars and the newly-released Snakes On A Plane, was seen holding a press-conference to promote his new movie "Black Snakes Moaning on a Plane", when he suddenly voiced his support for Craig. He said:
"I know they've finally found a motherfucking badass as Bond. You see Brosnan? He's a wimp. He couldn't even roundhouse-kick North Koreans in Die Another Day. But with Craig, he can flip a car 1080 degrees, but still survived motherfucker! Now that's what i call a true badass."
Jackson, was told whether he would like to work with Daniel. He replied:
"Hell yeah. I'd like to make a movie with him. It's called Shafting with Bond: The story of 2 Motha'fuckas. I'd about John Shaft and James Bond teaming to kill every bad mothafucka in this world. We're gonna do this movie set in North Korea. I'll be capping Kim Jong-Il's ass, while Craig will blow up every damn nuclear missile there with only one bullet. Shooting starts now! I REPEAT, NOW MOTHAFUCKA!(starts shooting reporters with a Glock USP Pistol)"
Two hours later, Samuel L.Jackson gave a phone call to Deanna Brayton, owner of DanielCraigIsNotBond.com. We were able to tape the phone call, and here's the words of Samuel L.Jackson:
This is Samuel L.Jackson. Now you might remember me from movies like Star Wars and Pulp Fiction. But today i'm voicing support for the new James Bond. That's right: I'm talking about the new badass named Daniel Craig. The greatest Bond ever since Sean Connery. So, go to DanielCraigIsNotBond.com now, AND CLOSE THE FUCKING WEBSITE YOU MOTHAFUCKA! So, by November 16th, if you're still against Daniel Craig, I WILL GET YOU!!!!
Ya hear me?"
Wow. That makes us at UnNews really wants to support Daniel Craig. With all the support from the old Bond actors, and now Samuel L.Jackson, we at UnNews fully support you Mr.Craig.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|