UnNews:Safety razor manufacturers report brisk pre-Halloween sales
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Safety razor manufacturers report brisk pre-Halloween sales
We distort, you deride
Friday, July 3, 2015, 12:35:UTC)(
27 October 2006
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
ST. LOUIS, Missouri - Safety razor manufacturers attending the annual Grooming Devices Conference today announced that pre-Halloween razor sales are up as much as 10-12 percent over last year, indicating continued growth in the popularity of the traditional "razor blade in an apple" prank.
"Halloween has always been a good holiday for us, sometimes accounting for nearly half of our yearly sales totals," noted Mark Teischer, spokesman for the National Association of Sharp Objects. "This year's strong sales are a welcome surprise for the industry."
The prank is accomplished by carefully inserting a razor blade completely into an apple so that the only evidence of it is a tiny slit. When an enthusiastic child bites into the apple, the razor can produce a deep cut to the inner cheek or tongue, causing severe blood loss and possibly requiring emergency surgery.
Multi-blade shaving systems have taken a significant bite of the razor market share that used to be dominated by the safety razor. Industry analysts estimate that nearly 87 percent of all safety razors purchased in the United States are used for pranks or suicides.
"And the suicide market really can't be counted on for return and repeat sales," said Teischer.