UnNews:Saddam faces death penalty for 1980s killing; supporter Reagan faces exhumation

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 UnFair and UnBalanced

19 June 2006

RummySaddam

Saddam Hussein interrupts his genocidal schedule to welcome an American special envoy from supporter Ronald Reagan, 1983. Reagans's chosen envoy was a youthful, pert, and oh-so-butch Don Rumsfeld.

Uncyc Press, Baghdad   Prosecutors in Iraq called today for the death penalty for Saddam Hussein, who stands accused of killing 148 Kurds after a failed coup attempt in 1982. The prosecutors also named Saddam supporter and co-conspirator Ronald Reagan as criminally culpable for supplying Saddam with the weapons used in the mass murder.

The prosecutors asked that Reagan's corpse be exhumed, shot by a firing squad, and then reburied.

In a somewhat unorthodox move the presiding judge interrupted the trial to assure participants and viewers that the court was in no way influenced by the Americans who currently occupy Iraq, and that therefore the court had no intention of holding George Bush criminally responsible for the deaths of 140,000 Iraqis since the US invasion.

"We are not puppets," said the judge, Mr. Ali ibn-Pinocchio. "We are an independent court with the impartial pursuit of justice as our only...excuse me, very sorry, General Casey instructed me to say 'the impartial pursuit of justice and the welfare of the Iraqi people as our only goals.'"

As yet the verdict in Saddam's trial is not in, although American General Casey said it was pretty much a done deal.

edit Sources

  • White House Truth and Reconciliation Committee, statement by Tony Snow, June 18 2006 (see Whitehouse.gov)
  • My Life and Hard Times in the Genocide Trade, Saddam Hussein (with Ann Coulter), Houghton-Pifflin' Press 2005
Personal tools
projects