UnNews:Ryan insists health-care fracas is just the first act

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Ryan insists health-care fracas is just the first act

Democracy Dies with Dignity

UnNews Logo Potato
Friday, March 23, 2018, 18:49:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

28 March 2017

Speaker Ryan

Speaker Ryan insists to the media that it wasn't "my fault" that the health-care bill blew up in his face.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaker of the House Paul Ryan pledged to revive efforts to repeal Obama-care and replace it with a law that is equally unreadable but might lay slightly less waste to the American economy. He even predicted that Democrats who are laughing at his own current pratfalls might "choke on it."

"We’re not going to retrench," Ryan said after a meeting with his GOP troops. "We are not going to stop banging our heads against the wall.

"Loud, ineffective action going in many different directions at once is a job that was not completed by the failure of the American Health Care Act (AHCA). We were elected to bang our heads against the wall, and all of us are fully committed to keep doing so for as long as it takes to put a small dent in the wall."

He said members of his caucus had had three days to "cool off" and return to the temperature they were at before he foisted AHCA on them in the first place. Conservatives said the bill wouldn’t kill enough of Obamacare, whereas centrists said it imperiled coverage for the needy; that is, it killed too much of it. Ryan said that members who balked at the initial plan still want to get to “yes” on the second go-around. He said that agreeing on nothing was not an insurmountable obstacle.

Since the demise of the AHCA, President Trump has tweeted that he will turn to Democrats to build a coalition. He has been told there is plenty of precedent for Americans electing one party to control the House, the Senate, and the White House, and then winding up with the policies of the other party.

Representative Mo Brooks (R-AL) said he will file a petition to have the House vote on simple repeal of Obama-care, as all Republicans voted repeatedly in 2016 when they were certain President Obama would just veto it. However, that petition requires signatures by a majority of the House. "There's that word again," he sighed.

edit Sources

Personal tools