UnNews:Rwandese woman minister guilty of unlicensed genocide

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Rwandese woman minister guilty of unlicensed genocide

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

UnNews Logo Potato
Saturday, March 17, 2018, 06:59:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

25 June 2011


Pauline Nyiramasuhuko is the first woman convicted for the Rwanda genocide and for wearing earphones upside-down.

HOTEL RAWANDA -- A former Rwandan minister has been sentenced to death in prison for her role in the unlicensed genocide and cannibalism of native men and boys.

Pauline Nyiramasuhuko, 65, is the first woman since Joan of Arc to be convicted of genocide by an international kangaroo court of her peers. She was also found guilty of selling HIV positive human flesh without an official warning label.

Nyiramasuhuko, the former commerce minister, was accused of ordering the massacres of all HIV infected males in her home district of Butare in southern Rwanda; an order which effected virtually all males in the area.

Some 800,000 tainted male Tutsis and Hutus were killed during the 1994 round up and subsequent rodeo. That is a shit-load of Tutsi and Hutu meat.

The prosecution at the International Cannibal Tribunal (ICT) accused her of taking part in the government decision to create and infect human herds that would graze throughout the country. Her mission was to monopolize the HIV positive flesh market as fast as she could spread it.

During the genocide she personally forced herds of males onto trucks that took them to be killed. Subsequently their HIV infected bodies were openly and illegally sold in the Rwandan gourmet food market.

"The chamber convicts Pauline Nyiramasuhuko of genocide and selling HIV tainted human flesh without a government license," read the ruling by the trial's three judges, viz., Moe, Larry, and Curly.

She was found guilty on 178,002 of the 769,332 charges she faced. Although throughout the entire trial Nyiramasuhuko flatly denied all the charges, even claiming repeatedly to have never visited Rwanda in her entire life.

edit Sources

Personal tools