UnNews:Russian Presidential Elections Will Be Held Again
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Russian Presidential Elections Will Be Held Again
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, May 3, 2016, 20:14:UTC)(
11 July 2013
MOSCOW, Russian Federation -- the Government decides to hold the elections of the President again after several months of unclear situation between the opposition and the government.
In October 2012, Vladimir Vladimirovitch Putin is elected as the President of the state after several years of being a Prime Minister. Several leaders of the opposition, wanting to gain more power and attention (as the State Duma states), cause misunderstanding between the government and the citizens and a confusion about the goals of the Russian Senate.
In February 2012, Vladimir Pekhtin gloriously leaves his senator's post, only because one of his houses has been discovered in Miami. As he himself says, he has never lied to anyone and just forgot to tell about this one. The opposition becomes more vulgar and rude towards the members of the Government, especially on the Internet. Other Senators, owning even bigger property in the foreign countries, try to defend him but become targets of the opposition's attack. They have to leave the country and defend themselves from aboard.
In 2013, some greatest Russian corrupters get imprisoned and others decease. By a random coincidence, these criminals are also significant opposition leaders. The government, wanting to save democracy, decides to choose future leaders of the opposition itself and spends several million roubles on the project but surprisingly it never gets beyond discussion.
Finally, now, Vladimir Putin reveals himself a completely honest and caring politician by allowing the second Presidential elections to be held again. Although he decided not to participate in them, the citizens just forced him to do it, knowing that Russia has never had a better President than him. Putin tries to disagree but, finally, succumbes to the will of the nation, makes a brilliant speech (pictured) and becomes another candidate amongst the already subscribed ones.
However, several minor errors occurred and right now there are only two candidates except for Putin, although other people wanted to be enlisted. Also, one candidate got enlisted three times in a row, but, according to the President, everything will be fixed in several months and a couple million dollars from the State Treasury has already been used for this purpose. "Russian government is as effective as always," - states one anonymous government opposer, certainly amased by its productivity.
The elections are planned to be held this summer. Serious measurements were taken to ease the movement of citizens inside Moscow in order to encourage them to particpate in the electorial campaign (pictured).
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|