UnNews:Russell Brand:"I Slept With Thatcher's Granddaughter."
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Russell Brand:"I Slept With Thatcher's Granddaughter."
Where man always bites dog
Tuesday, September 1, 2015, 17:54:UTC)(
1 November 2008
In a tape recording which has been obtained by UnNews, the following conversation can be heard to take place.
- Thatcher: Margaret Thatcher speaking.
- Brand: Is that Lady Thatcher?
- Thatcher: It is.
- Brand: Margaret Thatcher the former Prime Minister?
- Thatcher: It is, yes.
- Brand: Thatcher, the former leader of the free world?
- Thatcher: That's right. Who is this?
- Brand: It's me Russell Brand! I was just calling to say that I've fucked your grand-daughter!
- Thatcher: You did WHAT?
- Brand: I fucked her! I fucked Mrs Thatcher's granddaugher!
- Thatcher: How dare you!
- Brand: Actually I was ringing to apologise.
- Thatcher: Really?
- Brand: Yes. She was crap. I am really sorry I fucked her!
- Thatcher: (hangs up)
The shock revelation follows after an UnNews journalist was approached by a shifty looking character with awful taste in clothes and a bad speech impediment. The informant offered to sell UnNews the tape for £1.5 million, as he had just been suspended from his job at a large media corporation which he refused to identify.
A spokesman for the BBC issued this statement:
- "This kind of thing is really offensive. Ringing some old person to tell them that you fucked their grand-daughter - it's cruel and humiliating for them. You just don't want to do that to someone. I mean, do people really find any amusement in someone like Margaret Thatcher being so cruelly humiliated in this way? OK Maybe I've picked a bad example."
It has now emerged that the BBC has been deluged with phone calls - congratulating Russell Brand for actually doing something funny once in his life.