UnNews:Russell Brand:"I Slept With Thatcher's Granddaughter."

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Russell Brand:"I Slept With Thatcher's Granddaughter."

We distort, you deride

UnNews Logo Potato
Wednesday, March 21, 2018, 05:37:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

1 November 2008

RussellbrandL230606 228x345

Russell Brand has been out of a job for only a few days, and already he looks like a tramp.

London: Russell Brand, the alleged comedian, has plunged himself into new controversy today by playing a telephone prank on former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher.

In a tape recording which has been obtained by UnNews, the following conversation can be heard to take place.

Thatcher: Margaret Thatcher speaking.
Brand: Is that Lady Thatcher?
Thatcher: It is.
Brand: Margaret Thatcher the former Prime Minister?
Thatcher: It is, yes.
Brand: Thatcher, the former leader of the free world?
Thatcher: That's right. Who is this?
Brand: It's me Russell Brand! I was just calling to say that I've fucked your grand-daughter!
Thatcher: You did WHAT?
Brand: I fucked her! I fucked Mrs Thatcher's granddaugher!
Thatcher: How dare you!
Brand: Actually I was ringing to apologise.
Thatcher: Really?
Brand: Yes. She was crap. I am really sorry I fucked her!
Thatcher: (hangs up)

The shock revelation follows after an UnNews journalist was approached by a shifty looking character with awful taste in clothes and a bad speech impediment. The informant offered to sell UnNews the tape for £1.5 million, as he had just been suspended from his job at a large media corporation which he refused to identify.

A spokesman for the BBC issued this statement:

"This kind of thing is really offensive. Ringing some old person to tell them that you fucked their grand-daughter - it's cruel and humiliating for them. You just don't want to do that to someone. I mean, do people really find any amusement in someone like Margaret Thatcher being so cruelly humiliated in this way? OK Maybe I've picked a bad example."

It has now emerged that the BBC has been deluged with phone calls - congratulating Russell Brand for actually doing something funny once in his life.

edit Sources

Personal tools