UnNews:Rumsfeld gives Clinton two options

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3 August 2006

Throwsuphands

Donald Rumsfeld, a real potty mouth, tells Democrat Congressman Harry Reid to "rise and suck my balls" in early 2006.

WASHINGTON D.C. -- Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld told Senator Hillary Clinton, who criticized him after several US Generals acknowledged the possibility of full-blown civil war in Iraq, to either, "Fuck off, or go fuck yourself, ho."

Former President Bill Clinton immediately challenged Donald Rumsfeld to a fight in the parking lot, which Rumsfeld declined.

Rumsfeld then made a short speech to Congress, claiming that everything in Iraq was, "Fine and dandy," despite the fact that sectarian violence is barely containable by US troops in Iraq.

The statement was made after Hillary publicly confronted Rumsfeld regarding the deployment of more troops to Iraq, roughly 3,000. President George W. Bush made the following comment regarding Rumsfeld's statement and the current plan of action in Iraq:

"I believe that I believe in Rumsfeld's integrity. You see, there are more soldiers than there are roadside bombs. And besides, what is a roadside bomb but nothing more than a bomb on the side of the road. So if we can get our military vehicles and convoys to drive on the road and not on the side of the road where the bombs are, then we can reduce casualties. As for sectarian violence, I oppose all forms of violence against secretaries, which is what we're there to stop."

Hillary Clinton is expected to make a comment on this shocking event within the next 48 hours.

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