UnNews:Royal protester eats Fergie

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30 May 2007

Porkpie
Sarah Ferguson has a similar texture to pork, but tastes like chicken

LONDON, Ing-Er-Lund - An anti-Royal protester has chosen to demonstrate against the British Royal Family by eating Sarah "Fergie" Ferguson the Duchess of York. He claims that he has taken this drastic act in an effort to put animal cruelty carried out by the Royal Family in the spotlight.

Fergie was served minced, with apple, onion, and seasoning, and apparently tasted "really, really, really disgusting". The consumption was broadcast during a live radio show, a seven minute period of grunting, lip-smacking and the sound of tearing gristle.

Mark McGowan, a performance artist who once ate a ballerina during a production of Swan Lake, defended his actions.

"I know some people will find this offensive and tasteless, much like Fergie herself. But I am doing this to raise awareness about the RSPCA's inability to prosecute Prince Philip and his friends for hurting a fox's feelings with a social snub."

The RSPCA said in a statement that it has investigated the alleged incident with the fox, and found no evidence that anything but necessary suffering took place.

McGowan insists that any parts of Fergie which remain uneaten by the end of the day will be donated to poor nations to end world hunger.

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