UnNews:Ross Perot amassing an army in preparation for U.S. invasion
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!|
1 October 2012
PLANO, Texas -- Former Reform Party presidential candidate Ross Perot has announced that his so-called Perot Militia is now prepared to invade and take over the United States government. After the successful coup, he explained, he would be installing himself as dictator until such time as a new, reform-centered electoral process could be safely and reliably undertaken.
Citing an impending "fiscal cliff", Perot warned the U.S. government of disaster stemming from the country's weak financial position. "America is a sitting duck for an invader," Perot told USA today on Monday. "And if we are that weak, just think of who wants to come here and take us over." Presumably he was referring to himself, alluding to his ability to amass significant military might and personnel due to his enormous wealth and popularity. "Nobody that's running really talks about it. They would prefer not to have it discussed. But I certainly will discuss it. I'll do more than talk."
He compared the Washington establishment to a "bunch of fiscal drunks", implying that it will be easy to knock them all over once his army penetrates the White House perimeter and they advance on the Oval Office. "The Tea Party folks will be right behind me, waving pitchforks and AK-47s, and even though they don't know squat about the deficit, that doesn't matter - I'll be taking care of the business smarts part of it. I'm putting a cork on Washington's bottle of hooch, and kicking their asses out of the saloon. Yee-haw!"
- Brendan James "Only His Excellency Ross Perot can fix what is wrong with America". Yahoo! News, October 1, 2012