UnNews:Rosie rips Pope and Pooh
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Rosie rips Pope and Pooh
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Thursday, May 26, 2016, 22:27:UTC)(
15 January 2007
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HOLLYWOOD, California -- Lesbian comedienne Rosie (“The Loser”) O’Donnell came out against a variety of celebrities, living and dead, in addition to making further asinine comments about Donald Trump, attacking even Abraham Lincoln and the much-beloved fantasy character Winnie the Pooh in her continued slide into insanity and oblivion.
“That poor, pathetic woman,” Barbara Walters lamented, upon learning of the latest comments by her fellow panelist on The View, the unpopular ABC morning talk show that Walters hostesses as the former newswoman sits as far away from O’Donnell as possible.
Regarding Lincoln, Rosie said, “The man stood over six feet and had the bad taste to wear a top hat. What was he doing, parodying himself? And that beard! What a retirement home for lice and fleas. Poor Mary Todd probably had to have him fumigated twice a month just to keep their bedroom vermin free.”
“That’s not funny, Rosie,” Walters chastised her, horrified.
“You poor, pathetic woman,” Rosie replied.
The comedienne also insulted the Pope. “He’s as tasteless as ape-face Abe. Why would he think sadomasochism is fashionable? Oh! That's right--he doesn't think! He's the Pope. That necklace [the crucifix] is more repulsive than Mel Gibson. And have you seen his car, the Popemobile? It should be called the Poopmobile!”
Walters asked Rosie not to make personal attacks against the Pope or, for that matter, anyone else.
“All right,” Rosie conceded. “Let me say a few words about a couple of cartoon characters, if that’s okay with the ABC censor, Ba Ba Wah Wah.”
“I’m warning you,” Walters cautioned the flaming, flamboyant actress.
“Winnie the Pooh, or Winnie the Poop, as I ought to call you, as a male, you need to stay out of the ladies’ honey pots," Rosie warned the animated Disney bear. "Chicks are for chicks.”''
“You’re fired!” Walters declared, sounding much like Donald Trump.