UnNews:Rosie 6, The Donald 4
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Rosie 6, The Donald 4
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Friday, December 9, 2016, 19:35:UTC)(
22 December 2006
TV LAND, USA -- In a move which stunned experts the world over, Rosie O'Donnell has taken the lead in the war of words over Donald Trump. The two had ended the match the previous day with The Donald leading Rosie by a score of 3 to 2. Financial pundits and other douche bags felt confident that Trumps business savvy and bullshit acumen would sustain him in a lead position of this ridiculous tiff until Americans finally tired of it, and resurrect the next "dead horse" for a beating and a makeover.
Strangely enough, the core supporters of Rosie have been lesbians and Sesame Street characters. These, along with much of the remaining human population who understand satire, pathos, irony, and simple humo(u)r have backed Rosied plays, and enthusiastically come out stongly in support of the beloved television personality and riveting enthusiast.
Rosie was able to take the lead by using a hair-flipping technique to satire Trump's poorly fitting hairpiece. According to one of Rosie's spokespeople, "We were really proud of her for scoring with that move. It was totally impromptu".
"I'm really surprised at her depth and her ability to play the media game", stated one expert. "Rosie was clearly the underdog at the start of the match and we have been very impressed by her comeback". Others, however, are not convinced. Another dispassionate observer noted that, "the main reason she was able to score so easy is because the referee is on vacation. Just wait until Barbara comes back. All this underhanded stuff will have to stop".
Odd's makers in Las Vegas have been unmoved by the recent surge in points from the O'Donnell team. Current odds still favor Trump by a margin of 3-1 which is only down slightly from the previous day's 4-1. According to one bookmaker, "The smart money's on Trump. We fully expect him to score some more points by mentioning her sexual orientation and poking fun at her weight and the shape of her funny looking head."