UnNews:Romney campaign struggles to recover from "gaffe-filled" luncheon
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Romney campaign struggles to recover from "gaffe-filled" luncheon
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Monday, August 29, 2016, 07:28:UTC)(
18 September 2012
The faux pas was captured by James E. Carter IV on his cell phone, as he was hiding in the dumbwaiter in the wall of the dining room. However, Romney campaign spokesman said, off the record, that it was naïve of Gov. Romney not to know that Mr. Carter might be there.
Gov. Romney did not follow his request with a request for either pepper, curry, or Adobo. Margaret Carlson of Bloomberg News said that the selection is the latest hint that Gov. Romney has written off the votes of Americans of, “how shall we put this? of more humble colors.” She continued, “The bias toward white in his choice of seasonings is really remarkable.”
Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius added to the criticism of Gov. Romney's selection. “It is established federal policy that Americans reduce their intake of salt. A well-cooked meal contains all the salt necessary. Shaking more salt on top is simply unconscionable—or will be, whenever we finish writing the regs.”
Later in the meal, Gov. Romney excused himself from the table, perhaps to relieve himself. Ms. Carlson asked, “Where would the nation be if he got such a need during a time of national crisis?” Most Americans remember the fateful moment when nature (pictured) called President Clinton during a key telephone conversation with Yasser Arafat.
After the luncheon, Gov. Romney drove into downtown Boston for a strategy meeting with the aides dubbed the “Massachusetts boys” on how best to appeal to the 53% of voters who the Governor believes have not already decided to vote against him. UnNews Senior Editors tailed his automobile to determine if he made additional mistakes such as early lane changes.
In more minor news today, Arabian cities are on fire, Iran has the bomb, Greece and Spain are bankrupt and Congress is trying hard, and Japan and China have joined the other countries in making their money worthless so citizens will have renewed confidence in the future.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|