UnNews:Roller coaster stalls, terrified riders invited back for more

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Roller coaster stalls, terrified riders invited back for more

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29 March 2015


The Cyclone coaster stops on a hill angled downward.

NEW YORK, New York -- Soon after the city's Coney Island amusement park opened today, visitors made the compelling choice to ride the Cyclone roller coaster. The result of all these people riding the coaster at once was a stall, forcing the supposedly-speedy-and-thrilling ride to come to a halt on a downhill section of track. Many riders feared for their lives, but some remained calm, as they have likely been in a roller coaster malfunction previously, and mysteriously made the choice to ride yet another coaster.

After ride operators wasted approximately 2 1/2 hours of riders' time, operators finally decided riders down the tracks to "safety" below the coaster, but only after contacting managers, whom had to get clearance from their boss to guide riders away to safety. Carnival hands performed a medical examination of the riders and found no injuries.

Coney Island guests state that climbing off the coaster is one of the scariest things they have ever done. Some even stated that the steps they were climbing down appeared as though they would break at any moment. This is especially concerning for the maintenance workers who do the upkeep on Cyclone.

Once all riders were "safely" off the ride, spokeswoman Luna Park stated that it was an "isolated mechanical issue". Although past events usually are good predictors of future events, Ms. Park's assertion seems to mean that this event will predict a lot of the exact opposite. Just in case, however, Coney Island managers offered the terrified riders discount coupons to experience more of the same later at a really great price.

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