UnNews:Rob Zombie:"Halloween will be rated G"
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
18 June 2007
HORRORWOOD, California -- Horror film enthusiasts worldwide were shocked, horrified, and stunned Friday when Rob Zombie announced on his Myspace blog that his upcoming horror remake, Halloween, would be rated G by the Motion Picture Association of America.
Zombie, 42, was pressured by Dimension Films/MGM big wigs Bob and Harvey Weinstein to make the film appeal to a wider audience. "I was adamant at first," Zombie says, "but then I realized... These guys have a good track record for having monster hit movies: Halloween: Resurrection, Vampire in Brooklyn, Ernest vs. Pinhead, Good Burger, Dukes of Hazzard, Michael Myers in Da Hood.... Uhhh, on second thought, I'm not so sure about doing this."
Zombie had to cut almost 60 percent of the film to make it suitable for all audiences. "That means no sex, no drugs, no harsh language, no pot, no sex, no violence or gore.... did I mention no pot?"
Co-star Malcolm McDowell, who plays Dr. Loomis, has praised Zombie to going through with it, saying, "Rob Zombie is one brave man. He has a sick vision, and he needs to get it out to as many people as he possibly can. And the only way he can do that is through a G-rated film."
However, Tyler Mane, who plays Michael Myers, is speaking out against the studio's decision. "Dude, that is so
fucked up disappointing," he says. "Rob had a wicked sweet kickass vision, and the bastard studio had to ruin it! And Rob went with it! He sold out! He should have gone with his R-rated vision!"
Zombie has defended his decision once more saying, "If I were God, which I am not, this film would still be a very, very heavy R. My vision is rated R, but the execution is rated G. But if this film comes out as a G, I will beg and plead to get it released on DVD as an R or Unrated horror masterpiece gore-fest!! It will
fuckin' rock, man!"
Daeg Faerch, who plays 10-year-old Michael Myers, sat down with UnNews to discuss some of the plot changes Zombie had to make in accordance to the G rating.
“Rob wanted Dr. Loomis to have a big ego, he wanted Loomis to say "Fuck" a lot, he wanted lots of nudity and sex and pot, he wanted Myers to have a wicked-ass mask... but instead, the plot will revolve around Michael Myers being protective of his Teddy Bear and he will "pillow fight" with it instead of using a knife. The film is so cute now, something you can take a two-year-old to.”