UnNews:Rival gangs battle to a draw in Waco

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Rival gangs battle to a draw in Waco

Every time you think, you weaken the nation —Moe Howard

UnNews Logo Potato
Thursday, March 22, 2018, 16:39:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

18 May 2015

Sinaloa dance cartel

Authorities declared the Sinaloa Dance Cartel the "winner" of Sunday's small riot.

WACO, Texas -- Nine people were dead and the street was strewn with pieces of breasts and brisket as gang warfare broke out here on Sunday.

Notably, the free-for-all that then spiraled out of control was not instigated by the Justice Department, ATF, or a charismatic Christian sect of televangelists from a warehouse-sized church, and Bill Clinton did not blame it on Rush Limbaugh.

The violence erupted shortly after church, at a strip mall near Interstate 35, after members of rival gangs gathered at Twin Peaks, a chain that specializes in scantily-clad women. One of the gangs, the Sinaloa Dance Cartel, suggested that the group move to Hooters, a chain that specializes in scantily-clad women. That led various members to caucus in a bathroom, bringing their tools, including knives and firearms.

UnNews Logo Potato
UnNews Senior Editors are currently inserting left-wing bias into this related article:

Well armed dancers lose battles but raise fears of open dance warfare in Mexico

Minutes later, about 30 bikers clad in black walked into the Flying J Travel Center, which does not specialize in scantily-clad women, but only flapjacks, gasoline, and showers. They sat down but abruptly got up and left, according to fully clothed shift manager Darhonda McFarland, who told the Waco Tribune the experience was traumatizing. The bikers left no tip even though McFarland brought water and menus. Five minutes later, a SWAT team arrived, searched the restaurant, and questioned people in the parking lot who looked like they might be bikers. They didn't leave no tip neither.

edit Sources

Personal tools