UnNews:Riots break in Atlanta after Klan announces controversial candidate's support
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Riots break in Atlanta after Klan announces controversial candidate's support
Straight talk, from straight faces
Saturday, August 1, 2015, 08:45:UTC)(
24 September 2008
ATLANTA, Georgia Following a KKK meeting this morning, officials from the Klan announced their official support of a presidential candidate. Crowds of Georgians flocked to the stage to hear the support of John McCain, but were shocked to find the decision was Barack Obama.
"This is an outrage!" cries local Georgian Darell Smith. "How are us middle class black folk supposed to support some kind of monster like Obama?" And Smith is not the only furious Georgian. A poll shows that 97% of the African American population in Georgia are against the decision made by the KKK. Jourel King expressed his anger in a song that he sung to KKK members passing by his suburban home.
The streets of Atlanta were littered with protesters and rioters throughout the whole day. Reverend Jesse Jackson caught the first flight he could get into Atlanta to lead the protests. "We demand our local officials support McCain!" Could be heard from the streets throughout the day.
"I don't understand!" cried a KKK official. "I thought these darkies would be thoroughly pleased with our decision to vote for Obama! They're black, he's black, we don't get stuck with McCain, everyone wins!" Unfortunately for the KKK it isn't that easy. The vote percentage for Obama plummeted over the last night in Alabama, after closer analysis of McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin showed that she has, what black people across America refer to as "Huge Cahonkers", and dubbed her "Dayum, I'd like to pork that!". Following this find, the black voters in Atlanta changed their votes accordingly. McCain rose 76% in the polls for Georgia, to a grand total of 77%, thus pushing Obama into a meager 23%.
Obama has scheduled an emergency visit to Atlanta, in hopes of bringing the voters back to his side. On an unrelated note, reports show a very, very large order of watermelon, Kool-Aid, and Kentucky Fried Chicken was placed by the Obama campaign shortly before his departure to Atlanta.