Rioters chant, "Hands up!"

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19 December 2014

Hands Up

A black man gives the gesture to a line of white racist policemen, lest they shoot him in the back for failing to grab dry goods that they cannot reach, or to stop blocking traffic.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- New riots have broken out in America's capital to protest African Americans being asked to reach items on the top shelf of the supermarket.

The chant of "Hands up! Don't drop the detergent!" was an adaptation of "Hands up! Don't shoot!" The latter slogan, chanted last week by street protesters, CNN television, the staff of Congressional Democrats, and the St. Louis Rams football team, followed the racist murder of innocent unarmed young black dreamer Michael Brown, who could have uttered it (instead of "You are too big a pussy to shoot me") before lunging for an officer's service weapon in Ferguson, Missouri when he was asked not to walk in the middle of a street after robbing a convenience store.

The new chant relates to a supermarket encounter First Lady Michelle Obama described to People Magazine. In 2012, she described it to David Letterman as a "charming" relief to find someone who was not stricken by her fame, but two years of National Racial Healing later, she realized it was the result of stereotyping after the fellow shopper took one look at her unfortunate skin color, mistaking America's nutrition czarina for just one of "the help."

Protesters flooded onto the street here to make the point that no innocent black man should ever be asked to cooperate with another American based on superficial traits such as height.

Congressional Republicans, continuing this year's theme of "reaching across the aisle," proposed to expand the mandate of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission to equalize height-based disadvantages. House Speaker John Boehner proposed to heal the racial divide by prohibiting supermarkets from having top shelves at all.

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