UnNews:Rigged Oscars defused by ex-wife
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Rigged Oscars defused by ex-wife
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Tuesday, December 6, 2016, 18:12:UTC)(
8 March 2010
LOS ANGELES, California -- Kathryn Bigelow, the ex-wife of ‘Avatar’ director James Cameron, soundly stomped Cameron’s arse, when her low-budget real-life war VDO, "The Hurt Locker" easily won the Academy Award for Best Picture on Sunday – Causing Cameron a huge loss of face.
The contest was speculated to be just about even until the ceremony began, then the pitiful tear-jerker, about a lunatic suicidal bomb-squad leader, totally destroyed the ceremony when faulty Pyrotechnics exploded, which literally blew-away "Avatar".
After the smoke cleared and the bomb squad successfully defused any remaining ordinance, UnNews caught up with Ms. Bigelow, who told us, “Ha ha ha! It’s just a delightfully fun experience to have my $2,000 VDO completely demolish that arrogant bastard’s, Avatar, which cost him $500 Million - plus his not getting paid!
“Really!” Bigelow went on, “If my two thousand dollar VDO, which was filmed in Iraq using real service personnel and live bombs, were to lose to his 500 million dollar kids 3D cartoon I wouldn’t feel a thing. But to be the other way around is simply delicious. I mean, talk about payback! Oh Ha ha! AAaaah. Ha Ha! Haaa!"
After laughing non-stop for about 10 minutes Bigelow regained her composure and continued. “God! What a huge embarrassment. If I were my Ex then I’d be hiding my face in shame. Hahaha!! This is just exquisite. I love it!”