UnNews:Residents of New Delhi emit mystery multi-colour gas

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Residents of New Delhi emit mystery multi-colour gas

Your A.D.D. news outl — Oooh, look at the pictures!

UnNews Logo Potato
Monday, August 21, 2017, 14:26:59 (UTC)

F iconNewsroomAudio (staff)Foolitzer Prize

Feed-iconIndexesRandom story

06 March 2015

HOLI

That's what you get if you mix old spice with Old Spice

NEW DELHI, India -- Areas of New Delhi have been cordoned off and people are being moved away from the central regions, as residents of the the old town started emitting a mystery gas this morning. The effusion comes in various very bright colours and has prompted local police to tell drivers and pedestrians to avoid the Todomal Road area, until it has been established what exactly is happening.

The strange exudation does not seem to be linked to families, diet or a separate source, just location. A spokesperson for the police said: “We received a call at 11:00 that residents of the Todomal Road area, between the center and old town, started venting a highly colourful series of gaseous emissions.

“By the time emergency services arrived on scene, hundreds of local residents were leaking the multi-coloured gas and seemed to be in a state of euphoria. Police in bio-hazard suits are on the scene trying to curry opinion on what has happened.”

“Until we establish the cause and effect, people are requested to stay away from the area until further notice. We haven’t evacuated any houses at this time and it looks like the emissions are starting to abate. Please follow us on Twitter for further updates.”

Local residents seem more relaxed about the situation; in fact they are enjoying the impromptu gathering. The occurrence is even attracting tourists who are choosing to ignore advice to watch the spectacle. One visitor, Mr Rick Shaw, said: “Isn’t it wonderful? I have been cumin here every year for a decade and the people are a colourful, happy and vibrant bunch at the best of times; but this is on another level.

“I did ask the locals what they thought was happening and they had no idea either. Some suspect it is a mixture of old spice and Old Spice, others think it is something to do with a New Deli that has opened in the Old Delhi area of New Delhi; others think it is just a release of pent up expression. Look at old Mrs Holi over there, what an amazingly vibrant pink and purple column radiating from an 86 year old. It’s an amazing thing for me to see personally, Mrs Holi has been like a naan to me over the years.”

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects