UnNews:Researchers report, "Bacon taste good"

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10 September 2007

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After an intensive 1 hour of researching, it has proven that bacon taste good. It took the researchers ten years to figure if it tastes like crap or good. It is now an element in the periodic table.
Bacon

Bacon in its nonreactive form

The research team leader, Albert Einstein, remarked that this discovery will be very helpful to Science and George W. Bush's breakfast because he's sick of eating sandwiches with cheese. "With this discovery," said the confident Albert Einstein, "we may find ourselves looking into the future."

Bacon shrub

One of the many bacon shrubs found in United Spades of America

"This remarkable food" added Ronald Mcdonald, one of the 666 members involved in the research, "will be also be found in the cafeteria and given to the needy." Most charities will be forced volunteer to use this food as breakfast. "It was cheap and everybody thought it tasted great!", remarked Don Vito Corleone, founder of the Godfather Charity Foundation.

With Science, bacon became a necessity for Science as "inventions can be created from this marvelous material", told Hiro Nakamura. Inventors have invented the bacon shrub for decoration.

Microsoft Corp. and Apple are also trying to figure out technological marvels with bacon. Apple announced its newest iPod will have an edible bacon skin so you can eat when you are hungry. Microsoft will have a limited edible bacon edition of XBOX 360. Every hardware and game CD will be edible.

"As we stated," Albert Einstein continued, "bacon will be an element and will be added in the Periodic Table." Schools will learn about bacon from its unique texture to shape. It will be an essential school class unit in Biology in July 11th, 2014

But as soon as this news broke out, people decided to abuse the power of bacon; sources from teh innerwebs stated that terrorist leaders are inventing bacon fat to make fat blokes ASPLODE.

What will happen to the future of bacon, we may not know. For now, sink your teeth into the good ol' food.

This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.
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