UnNews:Republicans warn of dictatorship if Obama wins
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|UnNews Audio (file info)|
|Listen to this story!|
|This article is part of UnNews||Straight talk, from straight faces|
31 October 2010
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Congressional Republicans charge that President Barack Obama has secret plans to convert the United States into a dictatorship unless their party receives a majority in the mid-term elections next Tuesday.
Rush Limbaugh, who is acting Republican Party chairman until activists can determine which strip club Michael Steele snuck off to this time, warned that the current Congress, which will remain in power for two months after the election and is likely to meet in a "lame-duck" session, could wreak untold havoc.
"A huge carbon tax that will put even the odd back-yard barbecue beyond the means of Americans, Wal★Mart greeters turned into surly union thugs without even a vote, amnesty for 20 million illegals that will force us all to speak Spanish 'lingo,' Russian 'czars' who will bypass the Senate--How do we know that 'Imam Obama' won't go all the way? that the U.S. won't become the center of his new global caliphate???" Limbaugh leveled the charges Friday on his nationally syndicated radio program.
Of course, any lame-duck session would re-unite the same, pre-election lawmakers. Opinions differ on whether an election loss would chasten or just enrage them. Even in the latter case, according to respected deceased commentator William F. Buckley, "The healthy thing about stirring up a hornet's nest is that you can take out quite a number of the bastards." Of course, Mr. Buckley wasn't really proposing violence, any more than the President was when he told Hispanics last week to "punish the enemy." Rhetoric of lethality stems from the fact that, in the U.S., the federal election coincides with both Halloween and the start of hunting season.
Presidential spokesman Barry Gibb laughed off Mr. Limbaugh's comments. "Of course, none of that's true. And the man just looks funny," said Mr. Gibb, though he said nothing about the weight problem.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|