UnNews:Republican party chairman plays tit for tat

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

28 April 2010

Eyes-wide-shut1

Faux lesbians crawling out of the woodwork.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, California -- Who knew faux lesbians are so wealthy and well-connected? Apparently Micheal Steele, chairman of the Republican party, did.

According to important new Republican webzine The Daily Caller, Steele “spent $1,946.25 at Voyeur West Hollywood, a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex; this, for the benefit of Republican National Conventioneers.

The relatively small investment of less than $2,000 has generated huge returns for the Republican party. Steele told UnNews in a telephone interview, "Approval ratings are rising, thanks to a new Republican willingness to be seen with our hair down. Such incidents, cleverly leaked to the press, can only bolster the idea that we more than just a party of closeted, self-hating homosexuals."

Club Voyeur, a bondage-lesbian den of debauchery, is owned and operated by celebrity coattail rider Felecia Peregrine. She and her limited partners earn thousands of dollars an hour pretending to be gay for one another for frustrated businessmen and politicians.

Their combined wealth has bought the group some considerable sway in California and Washington. In a case of tit for tat, Club Voyeur owners raised $7.3 million for the Republican party in the last two months, both by direct donations and by pressuring club patrons who would rather retain their anonymity with regard to faux lesbians.

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects