UnNews:Report: Congress Can't Handle Obama's Huge Package

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27 July 2009

Obama08acceptance

Why do you think he's always behind a podium?

Members of congress have been expressing dismay at the size of the president's package.

"This has nothing to do with health care, that thing is just too huge!," exclaimed Charles Grassley (R-Iowa). "Nobody can seem to tell us where or how we're supposed to fit it in!" In response to a query from UnNews, White House chief of staff Rahm Emmanuel insisted that he has personally told Mr. Grassley exactly where he could put it.

"Look, I don't know if there's a procedure that could be done, or something, but someone has to trim that thing down to a reasonable size before it can be accepted into this body," said Senator Arlen Specter (D-Pennsylvania). "The president can't just waltz in here and try to cram this down our throats."

In response, the President said this, in a town-hall speech delivered yesterday. "Look, we've talked about this before, but let me make this perfectly clear. The Republicans and Blue Dog Democrats trying to reject my package aren't afraid of its size, they just want to get their wheels greased. That's just not going to happen. I won't accept it, and the American people will not accept it. Even if the way is obstructed, we're going to push on ahead."

Secretary of State Clinton spoke in favor of the president's package on Sunday on Meet the Press. "Everyone thought my package was huge back in 1994. By comparison, this thing isn't even that big. I don't understand the delay, or why congress feels they need to go on vacation before they can work it in."

Although the package has been viewed and discussed mostly in secret, so far, Democratic senators remain confident that it will see the light of day. "Look, at the end of the day, we're just going to put it out there and let it fly, and say, 'deal with this', and let the chips fall where they may. The American people are tired of us pussyfooting around," said Sen. Al Franken, Minnesota.

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