UnNews:Relief as Uncyclopedia stays up
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Relief as Uncyclopedia stays up
Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?
Wednesday, May 27, 2015, 04:43 (UTC)
21 March 2007
UNCYCLOPEDIA BUNKER, The Internet -- Nervous relief gripped millions as Uncyclopedia remained tenuously online this morning after Tuesday's unexpected downtime. Despite Global stock markets making some gains on the losses suffered analysts still predicted that the consequences may yet result in a "new Stone Age". The world came to the brink yesterday after the site was bought down for maintenance, the death toll is estimated to be in excess of 4.
UK President Tony Blair was the first world leader to offer his condemnation and had this message to the admin team, "This website is the cornerstone of Western civilisation. If you want them bloody rag heads to usurp our glorious empire you just blooming well go ahead and take it down again go on, I FRICKING DARE YOU!"
Contributers across the planet tentatively started to add content to the site despite the doomsayers predictions that it could go down again at any moment, "I don't know whether to just blow it and log on to ondonkeycocks.com again", one contributor said this morning.
Readers (being less educated) are yet to fully recover confidence in the stability of the site: "If they bring it down again I fear I may have to go out and get some fresh air!" said one, gentleman, "I mean god forbid, I might have to interact with the real world!"
President of Uzbekistan, Vladimir Felatiovic, was cautiously optimistic, as the apocalypitic fear that gripped his nation abated somewhat, "Uncybalpitta has return, Moon dragon sleep in its moon cave! I can now do sex with my Yak!"
Uncyclopedia spokeswoman David Fudgetunnel was quick to reassure the world this morning, "we are confident that this site will remain up for the foreseeable future, but then again I am blind as a bat."