UnNews:Redneck Reader goes visual

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Redneck Reader goes visual

Truth doesn't "live here" — It's just camping out

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19 January 2007


You know you‘re a redneck when a pickup truck is your idea of a limousine

BUG TUSSLE, TN - Bug Tussle, TN, the city that gave the rest of the world The Beverly Hillbillies has now bestowed another gift upon lowbrows across the face of the planet, The You-Know-You’re-A-Redneck-When Reader, Illustrated.

The You-Know-You’re-A-Redneck-When Reader series of books has been popular since its debut (that means when they first came out for sale, for our redneck readers). However, research by the publisher, Outhouse Press, determined, to everyone’s surprise, that the people who were buying the books were, for the most part, well-educated middle- and upper-class readers.

“At first, we thought it was a socio-economic thing,” Outhouse Press spokesman Li’l Abner Hatfield-McCoy told Unnews’ reporter Lotta Lies. “But then it hit us like a stepped-on rake: our target audience, the rednecks of Appalachia, can’t read; they’re illiterate! Thus was born the idea of the visual Reader, which uses a combination of photographs and captions, somewhat in the manner of cartoons or, for that matter Unnews’ own Unfunnies, to communicate its wit and humor. We try to make the text unnecessary by using pictures that are self-explanatory.”


You know you‘re a redneck when a pack of dogs is your car alarm

The result of the new tactic has been a mushrooming of sales among rednecks, especially in Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia, and the Commoмnwealth of Kentuckistan.

Hatfied-McCoy said, “We always knew such lines as ‘You know you’re a redneck when your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture’ and ‘your brother-in-law is your uncle’ are funny, but our redneck readers wouldn’t necessarily be able to chuckle over such one-liners. Anybody, even they, can enjoy the pictures, though.”

According to Lies, Toilet Press suggested that the illustrated humor books may set an industry-wide standard. “More and more,” Hatfield-McCoy told her, “even supposedly well-educated people can’t read and write, because the federal government wants to ensure an illiterate electorate. I’ll bet half of Uncyclopedia’s readers, as educated as they are, don’t know the meaning of that phrase, ‘illiterate electorate.’”

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