UnNews:Rebekah Brooks denies any knowledge of having been editor of News of the World

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
This article is part of UnNews UnNews Logo Potato1 Straight talk, from straight faces

28 July 2011

Brooksy

The sad thing is, even after everything: you probably still would.

LONDON, United Kingdom -- Former News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks has denied having any knowledge she was editor of the newspaper. "At no time did anyone inform me I was editing a newspaper, much less News of the World" she said in a statement released to UnNews, "I specifically remember being told that I was working for Oxfam. I clearly recall many instances where we prepared food packages for starving black kids."

When UnNews pressed Miss Brooks on how someone with the job title 'Editor of the News of the World' could not realise their job involved editing News of the World, she told us: "I can only tell you...that is how I recall it."

Recently deceased, ex-News of the World journalist Sean Hoar reacted with disbelief to Brooks' comments. "I frankly find it unbelievable that anyone can be editor of a newspaper without realising their job was editing a newspaper" he told us. "I remember may specific occasions when I was in a room with her and she made comments about font size."

In further developments in the Hackgate saga, Glen Mulcaire, the private detective at the centre of many of the accusations aimed at the News of the World, is now suspected of committing child murder on behalf of the Sunday tabloid. According to a report in the Guardian, the evidence uncovered by police in Mulcaire's notes is believed to have a list of violent crimes the private detective committed in order to create newsworthy stories. Mulcaire told us he believed he had done nothing wrong: "People who believe that important and necessary campaigns to curb violence against children can be launched without some instances of violence against children are to put mildly: naive," he told us.

Rival tabloid The Daily Mail has not escaped being caught up in the scandal. Today it faces accusations that in just the last twelve months alone, it has smuggled a total of over 100,000 Polish people into the country through the Channel Tunnel, in order to sustain its 'we're not racist but...' journalism. For its previous crimes, campaigners have been putting increasing pressure on The Daily Express to put the Fiat Uno they used to kill Princess Diana into a charity auction.

edit Sources

Personal tools
projects